You'll Be in My Heart
by shinigami82
Summary: Quatre's father desired him to go back to his kingdom as he had chosen a bride for his son. But Quatre still has his heart for Trowa. (3+4, shounen ai)


You'll Be In My Heart  
  
By: Shinigami82  
  
  
  
Come stop your crying it will be all right  
  
Just take my hand and hold it tight  
  
I will protect you from all around you  
  
I will be here don't you cry  
  
Quatre sobbed silently on Trowa's shoulder. The taller boy sat silently on his lover's bed, hugged him in his arms. He stroked his hair softly, he was feeling sorry for his love and himself. Quatre had turned off all the lights. Even the ones on his balcony. He was just reported that his father desired him back to the kingdom. He already chose a bride for him. Why didn't he want to understand his feelings? He really hates it when someone controls his life. He respects his father, he just doesn't want him to be in charge of his whole life. He doesn't want to marry those princesses that wanted only his name and possessions! He loves Trowa. And his father knows that, but he doesn't seem to care. He just wants to make sure that there would be a grandchild to carry on with the kingdom. His kingdom...  
  
"Trowa...." his voice was soft, almost a whisper. He pulled his koi closer, not wanting to let him go. As if he was asking for protection. Trowa, in a pleasant surprise, tighten his grip on Quatre's head, burying him deeper on his muscular chest.  
  
"Ssshh....don't say anything...just...let me hold you." upon hearing that, Quatre felt even more sad at the fact that he will never see his koi again, he is so sweet, he thought. Meanwhile Trowa could feel a single tear fell down his cheek. He tried to control himself.  
  
For one so small  
  
You seem so strong  
  
My arms will hold you  
  
Keep you safe and warm  
  
Quatre looked up to his beloved in deep blue longing eyes. He realised that he also had been crying. Trowa looked down on him. Not ashamed of letting Quatre know that he couldn't hold his tears. Suddenly Trowa could feel his small hand caressed his cheek, was brushing away his tears. He slightly surprised, but didn't jerk away. Quatre looked like he was coping it well compare to himself. My little one, he thought. You are stronger than I am...I promise...I promise that I will love you forever. Despite what is happening. Once again he let his tears streaming away. He hugged Quatre on the neck, letting Quatre's chin laid on his shoulder.  
  
This bond between us can't be broken  
  
I will be here don't you cry  
  
Trowa could hear Quatre's gasp as he pulled him closer. After a few moments, he let him go and reached Quatre's chin with his right hand. Trowa tilted his head and leaned closer to Quatre, wanting to meet his lips. Quatre didn't pull back, in fact he let Trowa's lips touched his. When their lips met, they shared the most passionate kiss. Those feelings they had when the very first time they kissed came back, haunting them. Those inquisitive and curious feelings when they kissed, longing the moment to last forever. The loving, adoring kiss.  
  
Coz you'll be in my heart  
  
Yes, you'll be in my heart  
  
From this day on  
  
Now and forever more  
  
You'll be in my heart  
  
No matter what they say  
  
You'll be here in my heart  
  
Always...  
  
Trowa stroked Quatre's hair lovingly while they were kissing, that golden hair, it has the most silky and soft feeling. He's afraid that he wouldn't be able to touch it ever again. Quatre ran his hands on Trowa's back, feeling the strong muscles back there. They shared the most passionate moments like there was no tomorrow. There was no tomorrow for them. These are the last moments they have. The moments that can only stay in their memory after they parted.  
  
Why can't they understand the way we feel?  
  
They just don't trust what they can't explain  
  
I know we're different  
  
But deep inside us  
  
We're not that different at all  
  
They laid silently on the bed. They were listening to each other's breathing. Both stared on the ceiling, unable to say anything to each other. They didn't have to. They understand exactly what each other's thinking. Quatre's laid his head on Trowa's bare chest, caressing it with his soft little fingers. Trowa looked down to his koi. Stroking his golden hair, twisting it. Both wanted to stay together in eternity, but...can it be? Can they stay together until the end of time? No matter how hard they might try? No matter how powerful their loves are towards each other? Is it really that hard just to be in each other's arms? To be able to taste each other's lips? Not being able to feel each other's company any longer drove the two of them to the edge of insanity.  
  
And you'll be in my heart  
  
Yes, you'll be in my heart  
  
From this day on  
  
Now and forever more  
  
Trowa kissed Quatre's hair, while Quatre was sleeping in his embrace, accompanied by the steady beat of Trowa's heart. Looking at his sleeping prince, Trowa made a silent vow to himself that his love to Quatre is eternal, until death do them apart.  
  
Don't listen to them  
  
Coz what do they know?  
  
We need each other  
  
To have to hold  
  
They'll see in time..  
  
I know...  
  
"No!!! Trowa!!! I can't be with you!!! I can't be seen with you!!! I don't love you!!! It's not right! I have to listen to my father! I have to listen to what they say and want!!! I have to go back to my kingdom!!!" Quatre covered his ears with his little hands, denied his feelings and decided to listen to his father's orders.  
  
"Quatre! Quatre, listen to me!" Trowa grabbed Quatre by the wrist and held him to stay still, to make him listen; "You can go! Do whatever he tells you to do! You can go back to the place where you think you belong! But please....but please...don't ever tell me you don't love me...please...I'm already hurt enough of what's happening now..." Pinning him to the wall, Trowa couldn't hold back his tears, he lowered his head towards the floor, letting his tears running down freely to the floor.  
  
Meanwhile Rashid was standing in front of the doors. He was listening to their fights, unintentionally. He came to take Master Quatre back to the kingdom. He was told to stay until he was coming. He didn't want to do it. He didn't want to make Master Quatre unhappy. He understood his feelings towards the silent circus boy.  
  
When destiny calls you  
  
You must be strong  
  
I may not be with you  
  
But you've got to hold on  
  
They'll see in time  
  
I know....  
  
We'll show them together!  
  
Quatre stood still, with his wrist still pinned to the wall with Trowa's strong hands. He was looking at Trowa who had his head hanged, looking at the floor, his whole body shuddered. Quatre could tell that he was crying. Trowa's grip loosen all of a sudden, his hands fell to the side of his body, yet, his head was still looking towards the floor. Quatre realised that he had hurt his feelings. Quatre reached for him, wanted to hug him. Seeing Trowa stood still, except his body was still shuddering, Quatre was hesitating, afraid that Trowa would reject him. But he didn't care anymore, he wanted to apologise by hugging him tight. They stood there for quite awhile. Sharing each other company for the last time.  
  
"My little one...please be careful. Take a good care of yourself. I'm not going to be with you forever. But never give up! We will show them together that we would never give up. And most of all, never forget that you will always remain in my heart no matter what happens. Nothing or no one can change that! Please, promise me..." Trowa said, letting go of the hug and putting his grip on Quatre's shoulders.  
  
"Trowa...I..I'm sorry!!I didn't mean...I didn't think...I mean..." Quatre started to cry..  
  
"My little one!!! Just promise me! Look me in the eye, and promise me..."  
  
Quatre looked up, with Trowa's hands were still on his shoulders. His eyes were wet with his tears. He sobbed.  
  
"Yes, Trowa. I promise I will never give up." He gave Trowa an assuring smile, his sky blue eyes were sparkling with hope yet at the same time filled with despair and sadness.  
  
Coz you'll be in my heart  
  
Believe me you'll be in my heart  
  
I'll be there from this day on  
  
Now and forever more  
  
Before they were parted, in front of the entrance of their house, they couldn't help but looking at each other in the eyes. Trowa's hands on Quatre's hip, and his hands on his chest. Rashid was waiting for his master, unable to see the view of their separation.  
  
"Trowa...I can't do this...I don't want to go. I want to stay here with you..." Quatre said with pleading eyes.  
  
"My little one, don't make this difficult as it already has. Listen to me...walk away now, and never look back. Go..." Trowa tried to be strong.  
  
Quatre nodded and let go of Trowa's grip on his hip. Walking away, Quatre tried not to look back. He and Rashid walked slowly in the sunset. Trowa looked at his beloved for the last time, he couldn't believe that Quatre was actually doing what he was being told. He tried not to cry but his tears refused to stay inside. Just when he was about to walk inside, he heard Quatre's voice, calling him. He looked over his shoulder, there he was, running towards him with arms wide open.  
  
Trowa yelled 'baka' at him. But Quatre didn't seem to care, he completely let himself fell into Trowa's embrace and locked his lips with Trowa's. They kissed vigorously, bruising each other's lips from kissing, but they didn't care. Quatre in between kisses, he was whispering 'aishiteru' the whole way. Although they were happy to be able to share the last kiss, their cheeks are wet from tears.  
  
They parted after they were running out of breath, but this time Quatre must really leave. Finally, they have to split. Trowa was still holding on to Quatre's arms until his hand reached the end of Quatre's fingertips.  
  
"Farewell, my little one...I love you..."  
  
Oh, You'll be in my heart  
  
You'll be here in my heart  
  
No matter what they say  
  
I'll be with you  
  
Be here in my heart  
  
I'll be there always  
  
Always....  
  
After a few months, Quatre reunited with his love. Yet, he couldn't see his beautiful face anymore. He now laid beneath the earth. Alone and cold. Quatre stood still on his grave. Reading something written on the grave stone; 'Beloved Trowa'.  
  
"Trowa suffered from Cancer since five months ago. He never told us. I'm sorry, Quatre..." He remembered Duo told him that just after he came back from his kingdom. Duo may sounded that he wasn't sad at all. He was hiding it. Not to make Quatre felt uneasy. But, Duo wasn't a good actor. Besides, his 'uchuru no kokoro' told him. He came back to let Trowa know that they can be together. He didn't have to be the one to carry on with the kingdom. But now, what's the use?  
  
"You told me to promise you not to give up...See me now? I never give up." Quatre choked. He tried to hold back his tears until he finished talking to him. "..but, you gave up on me..." he shed a tear, but his finger wiped it away. He sighed; "no matter..., I love you. I did, I do and always will. I'm not angry at you for giving up on me. Because, we showed them what we could do! And most of all, you said I'll always be in your heart, and guess what? You'll always be in mine..." This time, Quatre, didn't shed a tear, he became a stronger person. He left the grave yard along with the letter inside his pocket that Trowa had left for him;  
  
Dear My Little One,  
  
I'm sorry I've never told you. But better off this way, I didn't want to hurt you by seeing my condition when I was ill, laying in the bed. I want you to remember me as a lively and a loving person. Not a frightening creature that spent most of the time in bed. Sure, I wanted you to be with me, taking care of me, but I don't want you to be suffered along with me. I didn't have the heart.  
  
By now, I would be in heaven. I wish I could take you along. But I told you not to give up. Once again, I am sorry for given up on you, my little one...I had promised you to show them our love, and I was waited and waited...hoping that you may come upon my door, our door...but it was hurt, my little one, it was painful...I couldn't hold on to dear life. I'm sorry...  
  
I spent my last minutes writing this letter to you. With Duo, Heero and Wufei here sitting next to my bed. I wished you were here too. Then It would be less painful to leave my life. But I can't blame you, my dear Quatre. I was the one who told you to leave me. It was mainly my fault. Please forgive me, my love...  
  
I have a request for you my little one, please take care of Katherine for me. Tell her I'll always love her. Although she may appear to be a tough woman, she is actually soft as a feather. She may not be my real sister, but I always see her as one.  
  
The last but not least, my wish for you; live my dear Quatre! Life is tough, but you can't waste it. So many people longing for a better life. To be alive, is good enough. Especially, I get to meet your beautiful blue eyes. Filled with dreams and hope. Well, Quatre, you can reach them as long as you have the will. And remember, no matter how hard life is, it can't be that bad, because I will always be watching you, guiding you the whole way. I love you, my little one, my dear Quatre. You'll always be in my heart. Forever in eternity...  
  
Your beloved,  
  
Trowa  
  
I'll be with you  
  
I'll be there for you always  
  
Always and always  
  
Just look over your shoulder  
  
Just look over your shoulder  
  
Just look over your shoulder  
  
I'll be there always....  
  
Quatre was walking to where his limousine was. But he stopped, looking back to where Trowa's grave is. He said softly with a sad smile;  
  
"Every night I was hoping to meet you again, to kiss your soft lips once more. I loved you all my life. I loved you even when you told me you were in your death bed, telling Duo how fun life was with me...and I loved you even when I was imagining your emerald green eyes were not to open again. But don't worry...No matter what, I still love you..."  
  
*END* 


End file.
